well I can't set my house on fire every night
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
be right there i have to get my cape
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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