when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
