What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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