I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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