I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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