problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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