I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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