Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
