I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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