even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
