Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
