I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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