Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
