I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
