i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
