There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
