also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
