I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She's the barista slut.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Randomize
