somebody snuck up and got me drunk
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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