My room smells like vodka and shame
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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