As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
