is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
