i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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