The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
