Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
