do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
