going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
