you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she peed on how many people?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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