i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
