well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
