Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
