mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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