Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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