3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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