hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
