it was like his penis was on wheels.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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