Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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