if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
