I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
