Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
