They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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