what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
