I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
