I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Randomize
