How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
