She's JV to your varsity
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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