I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
