This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
