I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
