Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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