She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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