I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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